Friday, June 26, 2009

An Abridged version of all of the blogs that I have thought about writing over the past 2 weeks

Sometimes I go and check my blog and realize that I haven't written in a really long time. Then, I try to think about what I have been doing with myself for all that time. At first, I can't think of anything that seems blog-worthy, but eventually I realize that there are about 7 different blogs that I could write about the last 2 weeks of my life.

Blog Number 1: Chinese Ultimate Frisbee is amusing, but Shanghai is a gross place.
In this blog I would describe my trip to Hangzhou and Shanghai that happened June 10-15. I got to see all of my old friends and eat at my favorite places in Hangzhou. While in Hangzhou, (a city of 7 million people) I also randomly ran into 2 people that I had not seen in a long time. The first was my friend Alyssa's "older brother" (which is China just means good friend), who climbed out of a cab right in front of me, after which, we proceeded to look at each other for a few seconds before realizing both of us were just like "what the hell? hey!". The next day, my Chinese friend Peipei led me to her favorite doughnut shop where my residential director from last semester (an American woman named Su Aimei who used to work for Dragons for about 5 years)was sitting and drinking a cup of tea with her friend. I don't know what is was about being back in Hangzhou, my home in China, that made all sorts of weird people appear miraculously in front of me.
The Shanghai tournament was really fun, despite the fact that Shanghai is a smoggy, smelly, humid, grey, and overall miserable city where it takes 2 hours to get anywhere and half of the buildings are under construction. Our Frisbee team was made mostly of people living in my city (kunming, yunnan province) but we also picked up a few other friends from other places. We are called S.W.A.T. or South West All-star Team (西南名星队)A.K.A "Colonies of Sparkle." (supported by the sparkly hats and skirts that got passed around throughout the day. Since it was our first tournament as a team, we were put in the lower pool, also known as the kiddie pool, which allowed us to win all four games on the first day. The second day we rose up to the Power pool and had one wonderful victory on a universe point against Shanghai B, before we were somewhat crushed by Singapore Freakshow (who would go on to play in the finals.) It was a really fun team to play on, so despite the fact that the sky never even got close to the color blue, I really enjoyed myself.

Blog Number 2: Homestay Family Finding Marathon of Fun

As I have talked about in many blogs before, one of my main jobs in Kunming is to organize the homestays, meaning find and visit the families that Dragons summer students will live with for a week or two over the summer. This has been a very rewarding job in many ways, as it has allowed me to be invited into the homes of many Chinese families, where I am treated extremely well and repeatedly complimented on my Chinese abilities and natural beauty. In other ways, it has been a bit bothersome, since it means that Chinese families feel the need to call me at 9 o'clock on Saturday mornings after my last call on Friday night at around 11:30pm. There is either very little common courtesy, or they just don't fully understand how much I like my sleep. It got to the point where I would be haunted by the sound of my cell phone ring in my sleep, and when I was swimming in the pool I kept on thinking that I was hearing it when I was underwater. One of the reasons for all of this telephone communication was that last weekend I host two dinners on Saturday and Sunday nights for homestay families. Each night had 15-20 people, and together we went to a fancy restaurant and chatted and allowed new families to benefit from the experiences of the families that have hosted before. I was slightly intimidated by the idea of a room with just me and 20 Chinese people (who would be all looking at me), so each night I brought a long a friend to keep me company and help me to entertain the families. It also happened to work out that the two friends who agreed to come with me are both half Chinese Americans who speak excellent Chinese. For those of you who are unaware, Chinese people LOVE half-Chinese people. They think they are the most beautiful people ever and pretty much create the Chinese standard of beauty: still Chinese, but almost white. In fact, the only group that Chinese people love and admire more than Jews are probably the halfies. Both dinners went pretty well, and I was happy when they were over and the pre-planning phone calls subsided a bit.

Blog Number 3: Chinese Pop Concert
Last Friday night I want to a Chinese pop concert with two American friends (who both weirdly happen to be Oberlin grads) and a Chinese friend. I knew relatively little about the artist performing (a man by the name of Xu Wei who I was told sang typical poppy Chinese rock music), but I was pretty excited at the opportunity to attend my first pop concert in China.
Let me tell you, I was not disappointed. (Everyone else who I went with was, but that may be because they do not appreciate absurdity as much as I do.) I was so amused by the whole thing. It was everything I could have wanted and more. This is why:
First, I was sitting by myself for most of the concert. My friends had bought their tickets before hand where as I bought my "yellow cow" (or scalped) ticket on the street a half an hour beforehand for $3 more and got a much better seat then the rest of them. This also allowed me to just observe the excited fans singing along around me and get a better view of what was going on on the stage. Basically the concert consisted of 4 parts: Xu wei singing, scantily clothed average Chinese people hip-hop dancing, quiz-bowl type competitions where random fans got up on stage and answered questions about the artist, and silly advertisement based conversations between the Shuaige (handsome man) and Meinu (beautiful woman) MC's. I should also mention that Xu wei was wearing a white T-shirt and jeans, standing on a white stage, not moving at all except for when he walked from one side of the stage to another so people could snap pictures with their camera phones, and he pretty much looked like he was kind of depressed and did not really want to be there. He would sing two songs at a time and then practically run off the stage as fast as he could. When the perky MC's would try to ask him questions, he would basically just mumble three or four incoherent words into his microphone before sprinting off the stage. I had already been warned by Chinese friends that Xu Wei is not known for being handsome, but people like him anyway. Sometimes he would almost smile, when the crowd was being particularly enthusiastic, but then he would remember that he is a sad and over the hill sell-out and his somber facial expression would return. The whole event lasted about an hour and a half. They gave out glow bracelets and boom sticks. My Chinese friend brought binoculars. I really enjoyed myself. As I said before, my other friends were not as easily impressed.

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Tibetan Horse Races and Suckling Pig Roasts

Part 1: Racing Horses

Considering the fact that my last post contained no real or substantial information about the things that I have been doing lately, I figured I would update once more before I take off for Hangzhou and Shanghai tomorrow.
The past couple of weeks have been pretty busy because it is crunch time for summer program preparations. This means that I have been going on fun homestay family visiting marathons all over Kunming (4 families in 36 hours) and then sitting inside staring at my computer and practicing my copying, pasting, and resizing skills (slightly less fun.)
Still, I would not even try to pretend that my life is all work and no play. Not even close. A few weekends ago, during Dragon Boat Festival (for which we get time off from school and work), I went with a few friends up to Shangrila (aka Zhongdian...the Chinese government changed the name to attract tourist, and it worked.) for a few days to watch the Tibetan Horse Racing Festival that takes place there every year. After a 12 hour overnight bus ride, of which I probably slept about 11 hours, I arrived in cloudy and rainy Zhongdian, not really knowing what to expect. Was the festival going to be touristy and gross and make me uncomfortable with its flashiness and fakeness? I mean, in the states I am not a huge horse racing fan, and China isn't really known for being so nice to animals (or Tibetans, for that matter.)
I ended up being pleasantly surprised by the whole experience. To get to the stadium you had to walk along a road filled with all sorts of interesting vendors and carnival games. However, carnival games in China are a bit different than in the states, meaning they include such games as "ring around the cigarettes" (guess what you win!) and the "chuck-the-ball-at-bottle-of-beer-and-knock-it-over" game, as well as a good old fashion one liter bottle of beer chugging contest (which my male companions participated in at the bright and early time of 11am). Once we finally got to the stadium, the horse races had already started. The stadium itself was huge and I am told that it was built exclusively for the purpose of hosting this festival, and that during the rest of the year it sits empty or people learning to drive go there to practice. The crowd around us was mostly Tibetans and some Han Chinese tourists. The first couple races were pretty ordinary horse races. We entertained ourselves by places bets, more for pride or bragging rights than anything else, since the winner only got 1 kuai (about 15 cents). It is possible that this was culturally inappropriate, but when the Tibetans started playing our game with us, it made me feel like it was alright.
The coolest event that we witnessed (we missed the crossbow events that took place at 8am) involving 20 colored ribbons being laid out on either side of the track, and then the rider, going at top speed, leaning off of the side of his horse and trying to pick up as many ribbons as he could off of the ground. This is not as easy as it sounds. Basically, these guys would have one leg on the horse and the rest on their body hanging completely over the side while they rode at break neck speed. Another fun part was that the horses were all pretty wild, they did not really do what they were supposed to do all of the time. There was an announcer of the loud speaker that I really enjoyed listening to because they said funny things like, "The person must control the horse, the horse should not control the person." And, when one guy completely fell off of his horse, did a few rolls on the ground, and then did not succeed in picking up any ribbons the announcer said, "This guy is kind of old. But he's got personality." When another rider was pissed because his horse swerved away from the ribbons at the last minute and started punching his horse in the face, the announcer said, "There is no need to hit the horse."
It rained the whole time that I was in Zhongdian. Therefore, I was left no choice but to spend my time playing cards, eating obscene amounts of Yak meat dumplings and Yak milk yogurt, and lounging in outdoor hot springs under a crazy limestone bridge rock formation. Not a bad way to spend Dragon Boat Festival.

Part 2: Roasting Pigs
(disclaimer: for all vegetarian, vegan, and vegetarian friendly people who are reading this, I would like to say: I am sorry.)

Yesterday, around noon, I got a call from my friend Jono saying that they were planning to go to a restaurant where you could order an entire roast pig for dinner and asking if I would like to come. I said yes.
It is interesting because before I came to China I had not eaten Beef or Pork in years. I was even a bit uncomfortable with eating things that had bones in them (chicken, fish, etc) and I drank soy milk and ate few dairy products or eggs. Last semester, when all of my friends would complain about the lack of cheese in China, I would feel pretty apathetic. I definitely wasn't vegetarian, but I wasn't an avid meat eater either. I think that if you have asked me a year ago to attend a pig roast, I would have politely declined.
But now I am in China, where you see meat carcasses hanging from store windows (my mother did not like this) and where just about everything has meat added (for flavor, ofcourse.) I am also obsessed with Chinese yogurt, and have come to appreciate how delicious fresh fish can taste, so good that it is worth the hassle of navigating around the bones.
I am not sure what all of this will translate into when I get back to the states, but for now, I pretty much will eat whatever is put in front of me, including a roasted suckling pig.
As we drove out to the restaurant, it became increasing clear to me that I was about to take part in a weird sort of male bonding ritual involving the sacrifice and tearing to pieces of a dead animal with your own two hands. When the pig was actually placed in front of us, all pink and glazed and covered with spices, everyone's first comment was "that's not a very big pig," followed by "if it is too big than it is not as tasty." Hmmmm. Interesting.
As soon as everyone arrived, the feasting began. We were given packages of plastic gloves to put on, (so we weren't actually tearing it apart with our bear hands) and some people also chose to use their chopsticks to break off pieces of meat, so as to be more civilized. It was already pretty late by the time we started eating, and everyone was pretty hungry, and so the pig that had been sat in front of us all disappeared at a somewhat alarming rate. It was delicious, and I feel also somewhat educational. We all learned, for example, that pig ears are not very tasty, pig faces are somewhat fatty, and baby pigs in general do not have much meat on their bones.
It was probably only about a half an hour from the time the pig was sat down in front of us until all that was in front of us was a pile of bones.
Afterward, we sat around drinking beer and having guy conversation, leading me to comment that "It is not a big roast until you start talking about prostitutes." We also had some excitement when my friend Stew decided that it would be a good idea to mess with the course of nature and see what would happen if the giant moth on the wall of our room faced off with the Giant Spider on the web above us. Well, what happened was that the moth hit the web, the spider lunged toward the moth, but finding him to be twice his size, ending up losing and taking a near fatal fall into my lap. Or at least the space where my lap would have been if my survival instincts had no kicked in, causing me to dive into the lap of the person next to me.

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

20+ Signs that you have been in China for a while

Every time that I sit down to write a blog, I am never sure where to start. I have been in China for over 9 months now, (crazy!) and it seems to me like I constantly go back and forth between feeling completely comfortable, at home, and maybe even a little bit settled, and then something as simple as walking down a crowded and bustling street can bring on feelings of utter awe at the fact that this is my life, these are my surroundings, and there is Chinese coming out of my mouth. Being 21 years old, it is pretty crazy that I have been given this opportunity to spend so much time in China. Of course, you can't spend time in a place like China for this long without it having definite side effects. I am not saying that these side effects are in any way negative. They are just things that I have been noticing about myself lately. And they are kind of funny (at least to me).

You know you have been in China too long when...

1.Given the choice between Western Toilets and Chinese Toilets, you opt for the Chinese ones because they are more sanitary.
2. You have mastered the comfortable there-is-no-chair-so-I-will-squat-and-be-as-comfortable-as-I-am-in-a-chair position.
3.You never put anything on the ground because they ground is dirty. Bags (no matter how large) must always be kept in your lap or on the seat next to you because the ground is covered with unspeakable things.(see numbers 4 and 5)
4.You are not at all phased when you see small children peeing or pooping on the sidewalk and even have began to see the logic behind it. (so many babies in china....that would be a lot of dirty diapers.)
5.You don't even bat an eyelash when an old man, old lady, young man, young lady, or overly adapted foreign friend spits on the ground dangerously close to your leg, arm or face.
6.You think tank tops are inappropriate.
7.You no longer crave Western food. Instead, you feel unsatisfied if your meal does not include rice or noodles. (Don't even talk to me about fork and knife wielding abilities.)
8.You begin to think that the latest Chinese fashions of wearing short shorts with tights and high heels is kind of cute and you are considering investing in some.
9. You take your female friends hand when you cross the street and do not assume that the guys walking in front of you with their arms around each other are gay.
10. You are beginning to become convinced that you are, in fact, the most beautiful person in the world, because of how many times you have been told this by random Chinese people.
11. You find it completely appropriate to throw a few elbows while waiting in line for the bus, bathroom, etc. (All the old people do it!)
12. When you speak English, you generally speak slowly, all in the present tense and use simple words. This is partially so that non-English speaking friends can understand and partially due to the fact that you forget how to use big words and how to correctly use complicated things like past participles.
13. You drop words like "qingkuang" and "mafan" into your everyday speech and assume that everyone around you understands what you mean. (they usually do)
14.You are in love with green tea.
15. Chinese sounds normal to you. When you try to explain English words to people you get very angry because English makes no sense.
16. You are pretty well informed on the situations in Tibet, Taiwan, and Xinjiiang. (from the Chinese perspective, of course.)
17.You are considering getting a choppy, asymmetrical Chinese hair cut. Possibly one that involves a rat tail, looks like a mullet, or seems to be lacking in all logic. (Just kidding, I would never actually do that.)
18. You like China textured things. Let me described China texture: not solid, but not liquid either. Jiggly, but more firm than jello. Generally either an unattractive brown-black color or bright and pastel pink, purple, or green. Not really sweet, and with no real distinct flavor. Utterly delicious.
19. You think that spending more than $3-4 on a meal is absurdly expensive.
20. You have forgotten about the existence of tax and tip.

Additional things that I have thought of over the past 24 hours:

21. You are shameless about asking people how much things cost, how much they make, how much their house cost, how much their car cost, and just about anything else involving money. When you get something new, you automatically tell everyone how much it cost.
22. You drink yoghurt with a straw.
23. You are no longer offended or made even the least bit upset when people tell you that you are fat. Because, in comparison to them you are fat. You are huge.
24. You have adopted Chinese noises. For example instead of saying 'wo' or 'yikes' when something bad happens, your natural response is to say 'ai-ya' or 'oi-yo.' And you think that sentences sound completely impolite and unfamiliar if you don't end them with 'ah' 'ma' 'ba' or 'ga'.
25. You only curse the government a few times when they block gmail, youtube, blogger and many other sites that are crucial for your survival during the weeks surrounding the anniversary of Tiananmen (and then you discover the magic of proxy servers).