The Mysterious Cultural Practice that is "Ka-La-OK"

I have decided that today, instead of trying to write about everything that I have done in the past two weeks in Beijing, it will probably be better for everyone if I just pick one particular experience or phenomenon and attempt to really get to the root of its cultural meaning.
Today's topic: Ka-La-OK (Karaoke)
It is very hard for a person who has never been to Asia, who has never taken part in this unique cultural experience, to understand the complex and fascinating tradition that is Ka-La-OK. Ka-La-OK in China does not resemble Ka-La-OK in the U.S. Yes, Chinese Ka-La-OK does involve singing songs off-key, but besides this one small coincidental similarity, they are completely different animals. I will explain.
In China, Ka-La-OK does not take place in seedy bars where people (usually under the influence of alcohol) embarrass themselves in front of a room full of annoyed strangers. To get an idea of the mainstream nature of Ka-La-OK, on a Friday night it is a perfectly ordinary and not at all weird for a group of friends to decide to go sing together. In fact, they think it is weird that we think this is weird.
Ka-La-OK establishments are often either themed, (Hello Kitty, House on the Prairie, A Small German Village) or decorated for the holidays, (Halloween, Christmas) and usually their employees are wearing especially interesting costumes that coincide with the surrounding decor. There are all levels of Ka-La-OK places, ranging from cheap hole-in-the-wall places that are possibly offering services above and beyond a sing-along, all the way up to really fancy expensive places that are decked out with huge sparkling chandeliers, sweeping stairways that are straight out of the Sound of Music, and beautiful well-dressed people waiting to open the door for you. These are the types of places that the rich business men go when they have want to sing. And that isn't a joke.
Once you are inside a Ka-La-OK venue, you are escorted to your own private (sound-proof) room that is equipped with your own personal big screen T.V., Ka-La-OK computer screen, two microphones, and usually either a tambourine or a few maraccas, so that even if you are not participating in the singing, you can still add your own artistic style choices. Atleast at the high-end places, your personal touch computer screen means that you have thousands of Chinese and various other language songs at your fingertips. I was particularly impressed by there English Language selection, which allowed me to sing songs such as "Cecilia" by Simon and Garfunkel, "Torn" by Natalie Imbruglia, "The Piano Man" by Billy Joel, "Wannabe" by The Spice Girls, and of course "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavigne. Besides this excellent selection, possibly more important, was the videos that were playing in the background while I sang my heart out. To give a general idea, they usually involved average looking white people, often from the 80's, doing such exciting things as walking on the beach, going to the country fair, or driving in a car. There was an entire video of a desert. There were no people. Just pictures of a random desert while I sang "The Piano Man." This aspect of the evening really helped to elevate the experience to the next level.
Something that I haven't mentioned yet is that my most favorite Ka-La-OK outing involved my friend Yan, his mom and dad, and I. I have been told in the past that the ideal number of people to go sing Ka-La-OK with is 4-6, because if you have too many people you just don't get to sing enough. I would have to agree. I would also strongly reccomend bringing people who speak at least two languages and have an age range of at least 30 years, because it really increases the variety of songs that you can sing. For instance, you can sing Chinese Revolutionary songs , modern Chinese pop songs, heartfelt Taiwanese love ballads, and if you have an American, she might even sing you some Third-Eye-Blind.
In addition to dscussing the endless choices that Ka-La-OK presents, I think it is also really important to at least try to explain the Chinese Ka-La-OK attitude. Because this is what makes the experience truly different from Ka-La-OK in other places. Ka-La-OK is not a joke. It is serious business. Yes, it is entertainment, but the Chinese friends that I have gone to Ka-La-OK with approach it with almost an academic energy. They give it their all, they don't feel self-conscious about their less than perfect pitch, and singing without holding the microphone firmly in their hand is not an option. (and these are relatively small rooms, making the microphone not exactly necessary.)
In conclusion, Ka-La-OK in China is ubiquitous, it is enjoyed by people of all ages, and it is very serious business that is not to be mocked or questioned. Even when you are forced to get up at 8 a.m. on a Tuesday morning to go sing Ka-La-OK when the rooms are the cheapest.