In one week I will be going to the airport to get on an airplane to Guangzhou, which will then take me to L.A. and finally back to Boston. I tend to think that denial is the best way of dealing with this type of insane transition, and that as long as I keep myself extremely busy when I get back, it might even be several months before I even begin to process the fact that I have left China, its people and pollution and food and noise and a level of absurdity that keeps me constantly entertained.
I have really enjoyed myself these last 6 months or so, working and learning in a very concrete, sometimes tedious, but overall really fundamentally useful way. I have met amazing people that I will be really sad to leave. I have already said many goodbyes, as the place I am living is a place where people are constantly passing through, bitten by the travel bug and driven by the inability to sit still in any one place for too long.
This last week I took students to the airport 3 times, and each time my brain was like "is it time to leave? am I leaving? oh! no! not quite yet." I came back early from Lashihai to help out with a group who had one instructor leave about 5 days early, and so I got to take part in the various and painful goodbye ceremonies that take place when a group of students and instructors that have really bonded have to separate from each other, not knowing when they will meet again.
A lot of people have been asking me what my plan is. When will I be back in China? Will I work for Dragons next summer? What will I do after I graduate? How do I feel right now? etc,etc. One of the most interesting things for me this semester have been the friendships that I have made with people who are 5,10, or 15 years older than me. Before living in Kunming, I thought that my brother (who is 2.5 years older than me) was old. But, then he came to visit me and many people we met along the way could not figure out who was the older sibling (something that gave me much satisfaction). Everything has just been put into perspective a lot more. Talking to people who are 25 or 35 or 50 and are still dabbling in many things and figuring stuff out, has made me realize that I don't have to have definite answers for any of those silly questions about the future. I mean, I definitely have ideas about things, but I think that anyone who has a strict plan for life is soon going to find out that it will probably not work out in exactly the way that they have planned. So my friends in the states can send me as many emails about Grad schools and the GRE's and impending doom as they like, while I will continue to dream about my own crazy path in life that does not include taking any 3 letter tests anytime in the near future.
If you want anything from China, let me know in the next couple of days. In the meantime I will be busy wrapping up work stuff, spending time with friends, and getting my fill of rice, noodles, and Dali Pijiu. I will see you all soon!
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